My worth

This post is going to reach a whole new level of personal, and let's be honest here, I am a pretty open person so that's saying a lot. Am I right? Perhaps it's not so much personal as it is telling and humbling. Regardless of what it may reveal, it's something I want/need to remember. So, let me cut to the chase.

I am overweight. Very overweight. That's no secret and it's not something I have a difficult time admitting. And, I don't date. Like, ever. Well, not until recently, but I'll share that later. This hasn't always been the case, but I am not oblivious to the fact that my appearance contributes to it. I am constantly amazed at how much my size affects my interactions with the opposite sex. When I moved out at 18 and started attending a singles ward, I dated. Like, a lot. Was I fat? Nope. Was I more confident? Yep. I now hesitate when I see a good looking guy because in the back of my mind, I know he wouldn't be attracted to someone like me. Honestly, if I were in his shoes, how could I blame him?


Recently, a turn of events has given me greater perspective. I have been on 3 dates in the past week and a half. With the same guy. We will call him Joe. He is a sweetheart, and one who has looked past my physical appearance and seen ME. That alone is a huge blessing. He has helped me remember who I am, and who I want to become, inside and out. Now, I am not saying this is serious. So far it's just fun. And if that's all we get out of it, I'll be happy. Because through Joe, my Heavenly Father has helped me remember that I am of infinite worth.